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A

Adventures in Space and Time (US 1999) -

Alan Davies: Urban Trauma (UK 1998) - comedy routine by Alan Davies (Jonathan Creek) filmed at the Duchess Theatre in London. REF??

Amazing Race, The (US 2001 reality) - [1] One of the shows contestants is a big Star Wars fan...  [2] Contestants are in Tatahouine. The New York contestants are the only ones to make a comment on the Star Wars connection. [3] The Star Wars super collector, Brennan Swain, won along with pal Rob. Undertaking a grueling trek around the globe (including one stop in Tunisia where they visited "Tatouine") and facing various physical and mental challenges, the pair beat 10 other teams to win the $1 million dollar grand prize (That's enough to buy a Vlix and a half he he)! 

American Chopper (US 2003) - Comanche 3 - 4/21/05 Paul jr.: You know, it's kind of funny because we're really pushing to get this bike done... >> That is hot. >> Paul jr.: It just reminds me of, like, Star Wars. ...But it doesn't seem like there's as much pressure as usual. I think it's probably 'cause my father's not here making comments and putting his two cents in.

American Idol - 4/26/05 Simon to a contestant: It's like Star Wars,  you know. Welcome to the dark side, or the light side. And what it came across to me was a very bad imitation of the original.

America's Funniest Videos (US 2003) -  $100,000 Show A get-together/competition at a lake involving a short pier and a device that propels the contestants/participants off of that pier. One contestant is cheered on by a friend who urges him to, "use the Force!"

Anderson Cooper 360 (US ) - So here's a Pop quiz for you tonight. Tonight you're watching a scene right now from, A) Return of the Jedi, B) Revenge of the Sith or, C) a political convention. See the battle between good and evil in the Star Wars Saga is grossing over from a galaxy far away to the universe of raw politics.    Judy Woodruff.  REPORTER: A few days ago in a land not so far away the Cannes crowd looked at Darth Vader and saw George Bush.  When Anakin Skywalker said, "If you are not with me, you are my enemy" ..some movie goers heard this.. *Bush quote* - "Either you are with us or you are with the terrorists".  REPORTER: ...and in the epic clash of galactic powers they saw the war in Iraq.  Were they right?  George Lucas says the original Star Wars movie sprung from the ashes of Vietnam making Vader a little less Bush and a little more Nixon.  Though he's quick to draw connections.  The parallels of what we're doing in Iraq and Vietnam are unbelievable.  REPORTER:  at its heart it has always been a political parable.. Why do you think Ronald Reagan called the Soviet Union an evil empire?  I fare cuts in the defense budget and carrier groups and troops in Europe and Star Wars and any number of areas.  REPORTER: Even in these dark days with an earthly senate..one senator seduced by a dark vision of absolute power seeks to destroy this fabled order replacing fair judges with far right Clones.  To do this, he's ready to use a nightmare weapon known as the nuclear option.  REPORTER:  Yes, that's senate majority leader Bill Frist.  The liberal group movon.org is spending $150,000 to run that ad.  "Don't make me destroy you!" REPORTER: Revenge of the Sith will surely make ten times that sum by next week.  With or without the Force.  "I hope right you are"  REPORTER: Judy Woodruff, CNN, Washington.

 

Android Prophecy (UK) - Star Wars/Anthony Daniels/C3PO mentioned. C3PO based on Metropolis' female robot Maria (Futura) released in 1927.

Antiques Roadshow ( UK 1979-????) - A Scottish boy has a collection of Star Wars figures in a shadowbox. At the end of his 'showing' he says "May the Force Be With You" (very sweet)

 

B

Beat the Geeks (US 2001-2002 GS) - [1] There is a Star Wars Geek guest about every other show. Here is one example: Linda (Star Wars Geek) saw Star Wars over 200 times the year of it's release. She met her husband at a 20th anniversary event. She wears Jedi Robes. Her wedding picture includes a best man dressed as Chewbacca Q: What gold droid is fluent in over 6 million forms of communication? A:C3P0 Q: What was Han Solo's response when Leia told him she loved him? A: I know. Q: What is Anakin's last name? A: Skywalker Q: Name as many of the Ewoks as you can that were in ROTJ A: she could only get two. Q: Han Solo killed Greedo on Tatooine , who did he work for? A: Jabba the Hutt The Final Challenge: Q's: What kind of Droids did Maul dispatch? Before settling on R2 what droid did Owen get? Who played Amidala? Who played Grand Moff Tarkin? Name the Ewok that stole the Imperial Speeder Bike in ROTJ? What pit holds the Sarlacc? [2]  on another episode the Q was: What ship does Chewbacca pilot? A: Millennium Falcon 

Best Week Ever (US 2004) - April 7, 2004 Showing NASA Staff excited about the Mars rover. One of the comedians says, "it's kind of like the Ewok celebration at the end of Return of the Jedi, but hairier"

Big Breakfast UK (UK 1999) - Game show on the program called "Star Bores" with special guest Billy Dee Williams. Some excerpts: Billy Dee Williams appeared on Channel 4's Big Breakfast in the UK, promoting the Black Film Makers Festival and his new film "The Visit".  The presenter, Richard Bacon showed the clip where Han Solo & Lando Calrissian meet up on Cloud City in the Empire Strikes Back, resulting in the following exchange, to which there was much laughter:

RB: That's the scene where you double cross Han Solo. BDW: I didn't double cross Han Solo.

RB: Yes you did. BDW: We don't want to have to get into this whole discussion. RB: Alright mate.

BDW: Takes too long to explain 

Richard Bacon then asked him what he thought of The Phantom Menace, which resulted in the following revealing exchange:

BDW: I really didn't see all of it, I just saw a little bit of it. The only character I don't like in that is Jar Jar.

RB: I hate Jar Jar.

BDW: Jar Jar makes me nervous ... but I think the kids probably love Jar Jar though ... you have to be a kind of a frenetic kinda person to like Jar Jar.

The funniest bit of the interview was a quiz entitled "Star Bores", in which 3 Star Wars fans were asked Star Wars questions by Billy Dee Williams. The catch being the 2 losers would have to give the winner treasured items from their Star Wars collections. It's not everyday you see British Star Wars fans on UK Breakfast TV, so we figured we'd give them 15 minutes of fame (or humiliation when you see what some of them couldn't answer):

Contestant No 1

Adrian - "I've brought 2 of the final figures from the old line that were ever to come off the factory line."

Contestant No 2

William - "I've brought this collection of conceptual art prints which are very rare, very hard to get a hold off now, almost impossible"

Contestant No 3

Dan - "I've got this Boba Fett poster and it's signed by Jeremy Bulloch who played Boba Fett in the films."

Billy Dee fired off the following questions in 60 seconds:

How did Luke smuggle his lightsaber into Jabba's palace?

What are double bladed lightsabers used by the Jedi for?

In the Empire Strikes Back, what attacked Luke on Hoth?

Who was in command of the 2nd Death Star?

Who was in charge of the Trade Federation?

How did Han Solo win the Millennium Falcon?

What planet is Han Solo from?

Big Brother UK (UK 2001) - [1] They had a fish named Darth Vader. Which, incidentally died in June 2001. [2] A participant in BB is a SW fan [3] The Star Wars fan on Big Brother was ousted this week, 3rd week of June 2003, and escorted by Darth Vader and a Stormtrooper (from the UK division of the 501st). [4] June 2004 After a trick of cold water in the shower there is a lightsaber fight. 

Big Guns Talk: The Story of the Western (1997) - Star Wars is considered a western.

Bill Nye the Science Guy (US 1993) - Balance: Balance Wars (#2.2) 1997 Bill Nye's going to use the force to pull you into the world of balance.  A force is a push or a pull.  You can feel a force when someone pushes you.  You can use a force to pull a door shut.  Anyone can make forces by pushing and pulling, and you don't need to be Luke Skywalker to use a force.  A young "Luke" uses the Force to climb a balance beam and get a baby "Yoda."

Blind Date (US 1999 GS) - [1] In this episode one of the men that went out on a date was named Obi and they continued to make references to star wars some examples were: They had little graphics flying though shooting just like the dogfights in Star Wars. On the date they went to a batting cage and they super imposed a green glow over the bat and made lightsaber noises in the background. One of the date segments was called the "phantom chicken menace." And at the end the host says "well I guess the Force was not with them on that date." [2] On the date, the couple went into a collector's store and the guy picked up a 12" Boba Fett figure (the same one I own). Sadly, the girl said she had never seen Star Wars and the guy was a bit disappointed. Later in the date, the Boba Fett figure made another appearance as a graphic, saying "I was better in Return of the Jedi"

 

C

CBS News (2000) - Dan Rather refers to the astronauts building the space station, as 'Skywalkers'

Celebrity Death Match (US Anim) - Mark Hamill vs. Peter Mayhew; Ford vs. Jackson.  

Collectible Treasures 2001 - Showcasing Pez dispensers. Showed signed poster of Chewbacca and signed Pez dispensers of C3PO, Darth Vader and Boba Fett, and stating just at that time that some are valued at over each (there are over 400 distinct Pez dispensers)

Conan O'Brien, Late Night with (US Chat) -  [1] A skit with Yoda and other Star Wars characters (anyone with the correct info please help!!) [2] TPM reference Apr 1999 [3] 2001 Conan uses closed-captioning in a skit. The closed-captioning becomes a chat room, 'Hey, do any of you guys have the new version of Star Wars: Episode 1?' (regarding the 'Phantom Edit' ) [4] Oct 31, 2001 - The audience was dressed up for Halloween and they showed one who was dressed up as Chewbacca. Conan, says, 'Awww, Chewbacca's here EVERY night!' like it's nothing...hehe. [5] May 2002 Today 20th Century Fox announced that they overestimated the receipts of "Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of The Clones." They overestimated by about $6 million. Yeah, and they said it was a really stupid mistake because they figured in that fans would bring along dates. [6] May 2002 "Star Wars Episode Two: Attack of The Clones" opened last night. Die-hard fans that had been camped out for weeks were finally able to see it. The best part about the movie was the fight scene; the worst part about the movie was sitting next to someone who had camped out for weeks. [7] Last night on Conan O'Brien, there was a mildly Star Wars-esque reference. Conan was talking to Saddam Hussein via his magical television where only the mouths of famous people move. Saddam said something to the effect that of course he couldn't be dead. He has to be alive for "Part 3: Attack of the Kurds" and said that in the sequel he will reveal himself to be George W. Bush's father. [8] 2002 "George Lucas is giving the band N'Sync cameos in the upcoming Star Wars movie. Apparently because he wanted C3PO to look less gay "  [9] June 15, 2004 Guy playing Cheney, in a short skit, is having difficulty breathing, he goes to put on an oxygen mask then immediately proceeds to breathe and talk like Vader with very midi-like Star Wars music playing in the background.  [10] 1/25/05 The actor -- any "star wars" Fans here? [ Applause ] lookin' at pocket protectors. [ In nasal voice ] "I hear you, Conan O'Brien!"  [ Laughter ] the actor who plays C-3Po in the "star wars" movies just filmed his very last scene ever in a "star wars" movie. Said that it made him very Sad. [ Audience aws ] apparently, they're aren't that many roles that call for a gay robot. [ Laughter ] "I'll just be a gay robot someplace else." How hard could it be?[11]  3/30/05 Carrie Fisher who pled -- pled. Who played Princess Leia in the original "star wars" Movies says she's going to write a tell-all Book about all of the sex that took place on the set.  [ Cheers ] she's Al a companion Book for "star wars" Fans that explains what sex is. [ Laughter and applause ]  [12] 4/2/05 (part of monologue) This is the latest on the "star wars"ovie that's about to come out. Director George Lucas says that people should not bring kids to the newest "star wars" movie. Should not bring kids. Yeah. After hearing this, "star wars" Fans said, "kids? We've never even had girlfriends. [13] 4/9/05 I gotta talk about this. The other day at the Michael Jackson trial, which I am following very closely, it was revealed that one of the items in Michael's bedroom is a life-size replica of C-3Po from "star wars." [ Scattered cheers ] he has a life-size C-3Po in his bedroom. Yeah, Jackson's C-3Po looks like the one in the movie, except his is Bent over at the waist. [ Audience groans ] [ cheers and applause ] wow. [14] 4/15/05 One thing -- >> Conan: yes! [ Laughter ] I Hope you don't mind, a brought light sabers. Let's do it in slower motion and we also need the sound. [ Both make "star wars" sound effects ] >> imagine  Conan: you're Darth Vader. So I want to hear some Darth Vader [breathes deeply..imitates Darth Vader]  Conan: and then zoing! [laughter] next, you're going to teach me how to throw somebody..."  (Star Wars theme music is played) 

[15] 4/26/05 Conan: "30,000 people attended the Star Wars Celebration 3... and it was the highest concentration of celibate men other than the inauguration of Pope Benedict XVI" [16]  4/29/05 Hey, this weekend at a "star wars" convention -- this is big news -- at a "star wars" Convention, fans voted and said their favorite alien life forms are wookiees. Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ] yeah. Yeah, "star wars" fans said their second favorite alien life forms are women.  

[17] 4/30/05 Conan: "I plan to see the new "Star Wars" movie - " Harrison Ford wrote, "at a red-carpet premiere in L.A. " Carrie Fisher wrote, "at a Gala Charity event." Mark Hamill wrote, "when Mr. D'Angelo says the grill is clean enough, and I can go...[laughter and ooohs] it's at Denny's, interestingly enough, too" ..."speaking of "Star Wars" - "If I were real, I would - " "If I were real, I would _" C-3P0 wrote, "work with the underprivileged" [laughter]  

Wait a minute, wait a minute. That's the "star wars" fan. Why is that "star wars" fan there? Sir? >> Isn't this the line for "revenge of the sith"? [ Frankenstein's groan ] no! Ahh! [ Applause ] [ "star wars" fan screams ] >> Conan: all right. While they're murdering him, we'll take a break.  

  [18]  5/4/05 (monologue) [19] 1/22/05 Author Tariq Nasheed: This is why the book is called The Mack Within (Conan: Yes)  Tariq: Give it up, man! All these macks!  Conan: it's like a - it's a Jedi Principal.  It's channeling that Mack within you, right?  [light laughter] okay, forget it.  I won't talk. You go [laughter] probably, Star Wars references don't help. Tariq: No, that's not macking [laughter]  Conan (nerdy): Kind of like on Star Trek when they went to Romulan 9.  [20] 5/20/05 About the film Revenge of the Sith: CONAN: Jedi are dying all over the place. So with all this going on, why would anyone of us care about Yoda's head Lice problem? [ Laughter ] a lot of the movie's about Yoda's head Lice problem. They're terrible scenes. Take a look. >> Anakin does not take to his new assignment with much enthusiasm. >> It's very dangerous putting them together. [ Laughter ] I don't think he can handle it. [ Laughter ] ROTS clip:  maybe he's not the chosen one.  does he not bring balance to the Force?  That's what the prophecy said.  [cheers and applause]    CONAN:  I don't want to give anything away, but that's two-thirds of the movie [laughter]  he goes and gets a cream and that doesn't work.  It's not good.  All right, now some people who aren't Star Wars fans wonder why they devote so much of their lives to a series of movies.  Well, the answer is pretty simple.  Awkward and less athletic people sometimes feel inferior to muscular jock types.  And they'll search out other areas in which they can excel and outperform those more popular guys.  With this in mind, we'd like to present the Star Wars geeks worst nightmare, the jock who knows as much about Star Wars as a geek [laughter and applause]   JOCK: You know, the original Jabba action figure came with a vinyl cape.  The cloth robe was added a little later.   GIRLS: Oh!  Ah!  [applause]  CONAN: ...was pretty much me [laughter] with a few changes.  Now, a lot of toys have come out in conjunction with the Star Wars movies.  Probably the most popular is a talking Yoda doll.  Everyone loves to get this talking Yoda doll.  You squeeze his hand and he dispenses mystical wisdom.  But be careful.  There are a lot of bootleg versions of this doll out there that they're selling on the street, like this one right here.  And they're just not the same.  Listen to this bootleg Yoda right here.  YODA DOLL:  Hey, How YOU doing?  I'm Yada the puppet from the movie and...  Hey, dad, the pizza man's here!   Don't come in to daddy's room without knocking!  I'm recording the yada thing!

[21] 5/18/05 Conan to a "guest" SW fan:  So, Tim, by the way, what's grievous? Is that a "star wars" character? >> Yeah, that's General Grievous, a cyborg who hunts Jedi. [ Applause ]

[22] 5/26/05 Revenge of the Sith, everyone is talking about it because everyone knows the big reason for the film's popularity is all of the great Star Wars characters like R2-D2, Darth Vader, Yoda.  People love those characters, that's why they see the films.  Many people don't know that there were several characters that were acturally cut out of the new Star Wars movie.  [laughter] true story.  Yeah, apparently, George Lucas has tried very hard to sweep these failed characters under the rug.  He doesn't want anyone to know about them.  It's like stuff that they tried, it didn't work, they cut it out of the film.  He wants them to go away.  Our first rejected Star Wars character is a Wookiee with deep-felt religious beliefs dating back to the old testament.  Please welcome, Jewbacca!! [laughter]  You guys like it!  The nerds are mad now.  [speaking in nerd voice] ...it's CHEWbacca, not Jewbacca!  I'll bet a lot of youhave wondered if you are a Hutt.  Well, if you like watching enslaved Twi'leks dance while you eat a frog in a Naboo Starfighter, then you just might be a Hutt. [applause]  Very good.  Jabba the Foxworthy.  All right.  Our next rejected Star Wars character is named Lamb Vindaloo, an Indian restaurant entree that has turned to the darkside.  Rejected character's devotion to the evil Empire is matched only by his love of mainstream country music.  Please, welcome Darth Brooks [applause]  ♪ Oh, I'm drinking my way to the darkside some day I'll even fight my own son Luke, it's hard to remember Yoda's teachings when you wake up every morning in your puke [laughter, applause]  CONAN: Very nice!  I can hear his ... [Darth Vader breathing]  ...He comes from the planet... [laughter]  all right.  In his latest Star Wars movie,  George Lucas wanted to make a tougher, meaner version of the robot R2-D2.  He wanted to toughen R2-D2 up, by combining him with a badass TV icon of the 1980's.  It didn't quite work, he cut him out of the film.  But here he is anyway, R2Mr.T2  [laughter]

[23] 1999 Now, folks, you don't have to be a science fiction fan to hate this next character. Say hello to Bar-Bar Glinks, the new Star Wars character that's even more annoying than Jar-Jar Binks.

[24] 5/21/05 

We've got a really fine show tonight. We have a lot of cool stuff we're going to do. I mentioned over there the new "star wars" film to a less than thrilled crowd, but we are -- it's hard to believe we have less than one week away from the Official opening of the final "star wars" movie, "Star wars, episode iii: revenge of the sith." I have no idea what that title means. I didn't even know the Sith was angry at us. [ Laughter ] I don't even know what a Sith is, but the Sith, apparently, is getting its revenge in this movie so, ooh, watch out.

[ Laughter ] but If you're a fan of the "star wars" franchise, this is a huge deal, especially If you like to collect "star wars" action figures, right? These things are huge. Action figures have always meant a lot to "star wars" fans and some of the collectibles, over the years, are now Worth thousands of dollars. People collect these things, they trade them and you can get, I think, some of them go for tens of thousands of dollars. For this last movie, for the very first time -- this is kind of cool -- the producers have created a whole new line of action figures.

That's right!  They're action figures of Star Wars fans themselves [laughter] yeah, you know the fanatics, the weirdoes who camp out in front of the theatre a week before it opens?  They've made action figures of those people,  and these incredible collectibles have been kept under wraps.  You know how secretive Lucas is, and the Star Wars people.  No one gets to see these until we came along.  We managed to get a hold of these action figures.  We're gonna show them tonight.  We're gonna get in a lot of trouble, but we're going to do it.  Here they are, the new Star Wars fans action figures!  [Star Wars them music and cheers]  I hate to brag, but, that's a huge special effect. [laughter] we can make words come up and go away, but to have words go like that?  All right.  Let's look at some of these.  These are really good.  These are beautifully made.  Here's the first Star Wars fan action figure.  Take a look.  It's Morbly Obeseus, this is the guy waiting in line in a homemade outfit [laughter] and look at the craftsmanship.  

Here's a guy right here.  This is going to be worth a lot of money, so hang on to this.  This is a character known as "idiota" - the guy who dressed up as Jar-Jar Binks and got his ass kicked.  [laughter, applause]  complete with violent bruising.   Internal hemorrhaging is also available for extra money.  And then, finally, there's this character right here, called "anonymous."  It's the die-hard fan who's embarrassed to be seen in line [laughter] he's got a little hood on, and look, as an added feature, you can pull the hood back and actually look at him '[laughter, applause] of course, look what happens when this guy tries to go to her (another figure.)

This next one, highly collectible and rare.  This is "Lovelatch," one of the few female Star Wars fans.  [laughter] there she is.  There's not many of them.  They've only made a few of these because there really aren't that many female Star Wars fans, but look at this - this is an added feature.  Beautiful attention to detail.  Look what happens when she tries to approach this guy in line.  It's fascinating.   She's not interested. [laughter] it's all very sad.  Well, there they are - the Star Wars fans action figures.  Collect all seven! [cheers and applause]  [Star Wars theme music]

   

[25] 5/21/05 Conan: that's about it? I paid you $500 and that's all you found out? >> Okay. Truth is I had to tail someone else around last night. >> Conan: wait a minute. Someone else hired you? >> Oh, yeah. I did, pal, I had him follow you and take some great pictures. As a matter of fact, here you are stealing from the tip jar at Starbucks. [ Laughter ] here you are pouring some whiskey on your cornflakes there. Oh, this is my favorite. You've gone to see the new "star wars" movie dressed as Princess Leia. [26] 6/15/05 "Late night guest autographs" Twelve minutes into the show.  CONAN: George Lucas, man, George Lucas, the director, the creator of the Star Wars franchise.  He was on the show.  That was a great show.  Let's see what he wrote: 'Conan, you're the biggest nerd I've ever seen, and I'm George Lucas'  CONAN: That's not funny.   [27] 6/25/05 Guest is Ethan Hawke. CONAN: Any "star wars" fans here? [cheers and applause] all right, then. Oh, yeah, you can tell. [ Laughter...then in nerdy voice] "mmmm, hooray! Mmmm !" [ Laughter ] what am I doing? What am I doing? Like I'm such a jock, you know? [ Laughter] who am I, but yet I do.  I can't help it.  No, this week George Lucas was given the American Film Institute's "Lifetime Achievement Award."  Good.  [applause]  Thanks good.  That's very nice.  Yeah.  Not only that, not only that, C3PO was given a "Lifetime Achievement Award" by "Gay Robot Magazine." [laughter) very narrow-focus magazine.  And then, I think this is the strangest quote of the week but in a new interview Billy Bob Thornton said that having sex with Angelina Jolie was like having sex with a couch.       CONAN to ETHAN: now, I don't want to get in trouble with you. I was sort o f making fun of "star wars" a little bit in the monologue area. But were you -- you're a big "star wars" fan, is that right?    ETHAN: Yeah, yea h, I am. You know, I was -- I'm peak, you know. I was 7-years-old when the first one came out. And so I've now -- have you seen the new   CONAN: no, I have not seen the new one yet.  CONAN: thanks, buddy. Great, great . So Darth Vader's bad? [laughter]    ETHAN: yeah. CONAN: OH .    ETHAN: But, yeah , I've been obsessed with the whole thing. I feel there 's a certain peace in my life now that it's come to a conclusion. CONAN: but do you, now, do you think that's really it for the Star Wars franchise, though? I think -- so much money, they're just going to say, "oh, wait, he didn't die, that guy, he's come back." You know? [ Laughter ] he ate a come-back-to-life pill or something. [laughter] [28] May 4, 2005 During a skit featuring Rune Haako and Nute Gunray (Conan's actors in costumes), Conan is asking questions of the audience (obvious plants), the audience guy says, "and then those two guys should have a lightsaber battle on a catwalk."  CONAN  Um, again, that would be a copyright infringement, Lucas lawyers would eat us alive.."  "...Rune Haako...let's go back to the scene and see what Rune actually did..."  "ACTION!"    RUNE (singing): Hey, I'd rather be a chicken than a turkey like you! Now, everyone join in!   CONAN: That was a great.  Well, folks if you love that, you're gonna love the new Star Wars movie.  It's the same.

Craig Kilborn <Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn>(2002) - [1] Today I found out that my Jedi Stormtrooper helmet is waterproof. It wasn't raining, my head was shoved into a toilet. I drove by one theater today and "Star Wars" was playing and all the people in line were dressed up like Star Wars characters. Then I drove by another theater where "Spider-Man" was playing and the people were dressed up like Spider-Man. Then I drove by the theater where "Unfaithful" was playing and the people were dressed like Bill Clinton.  [2] Kilborn's "In The News" skit 7/28/04.  He makes mention of the title, some of the audience members chuckled and snickered and he added that the title was going to be, "...Yet Another Disappointment" (more laughing).  At another point Kilborn is summarizing the film and at the bottom of the screen the words, "Jedi Dork Alert!" flash.     They interview "Vader" and Kilborn questions him about the title, "do you like the title?"  Vader replies, "Craig, I am your father."   Craig: "heh heh, you're Darth Vader, now tell me what you think of the title.."  Vader: "But I am your father.  Your mother was really into Star Wars and we had a one night stand at a Comfort Inn" (laughter)  Craig:  "I'm totally shocked by this, why are you telling me now? and why do you wear that mask?"  Vader: "Because I'm embarrassed that you're my son."  (laughter)

 

D

Daily Show, The (US Com News) - [1]A 'news' piece on a magic stunt performed by a magician where he freezes himself in a block of ice. Jon Stewart says, "...at -22 degrees you begin to wonder if Lando Calrissian is really your friend" (picture of Solo in Carbonite) [2] Jon Stewart says, "Anywhere between XXXXLVI and XXXLVIII old, and damn it, Luke Skywalker's aunt and uncle are still dead." The picture is of Owen and Beru's homestead seen through the water. [3] Feb 2001 - Instead of showing the NEAR Probes landing on an asteroid footage. They showed the Falcon blasting out of the mouth of the Asteroid/Worm in TESB. [4] Referring to cloning title "The Clone Wars"  and [5] Stewart called 'Battlefield Earth', '...a cross between Star Wars and the smell of as*' [6] Correspondent Matt Walsh was doing a piece on Osama Bin Laden's mountain fortress and Stewart asked him if there were any weaknesses. Walsh replied that there was a small thermal exhaust port just above the main port. The graphic changed from USA Today's graphic of the fortress to that of the war room on Yavin as Walsh explained that a hit directly into the shaft would blow up the death star. Back at the desk, Stewart, said "Matt, that's impossible!" Walsh dead-pan replied, "It's not impossible, I used to bull's-eye Womp rats in my T-16 back home!" (thanks to Darth Malt!) [7] Jan 15, 2004 Jon Stewart discusses Enron again, Chewco (named after Chewbacca, of course.) Jon Stewart jokes about the company making money by misstating the amount of parsecs to make the Kessel Run.

Dennis Miller (US Comedy) - Mar 18, 2004 Reporting on Pakistan and al Qaeda targets. He tried to pronounce, "Ayman al-Zawahiri" a few times. He gives up and says, "Man, did George Lucas name everyone in that country?"

Disney's Imagineer That (US ED) - An engineer explains gravity. The title is 'May the Force Be With You'. At the end of the 5 minute piece the engineer says, 'May the Force Be With You!'

Distration (US 2005) - [1] Bert (contestant) is getting tossed around by a wrestler, Jimmy Carr (host): Name the first movie to feature R2-D2 and C-3PO.  Bert: Star Wars [2] 2/28/06 One of the questions asked while the contestants were pelted in the face with ping-pong balls: :"What Star Wars character did Ewan McGregor play?" The answer, which the contestant Ted did not get, was 'Obi-Wan Kenobi' [3] 3/28/06 While asking questions for the contestants, they each had to put their head through a ping-pong table and had ping-pong balls fired at their face.   - Jimmy Carr (Host): "Star Wars character Darth Vader cut off the hand of which hero with a lightsaber?"  Eli (contestant): "Uh, Luke Skywalker."  [4]  - Jimmy Carr (Host): "What Steven Spielberg movie hero likes to use a whip, but hates snakes?"  Fran (contestant): "Um, uh.. Indiana Jones." (Thanks to John at Obroa-Skai for these references!)

Double Dare (US GS) - Question June 2000: How many Star Wars films have been released?

Dragonfly TV (US ) - Curling; hovercraft; how to practice hockey moves without ice.  My name's Sara, and I'm the mad genius behind all of Rachel's crazy schemes. Well, I got the idea of the Hovercraft from the "star wars" movie where they had like, the pod races and I thought it would be like, really fun to see If I could build one of those.

 

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Eat Bulaga (2003 Filipino Game) - [1] Luban O Bawi segment the question to the contestant was: (loose translation) Who is the most notable sci-fi director in Hollywood? Clue: "George" and "He also directed Star Wars" the contestants' answer was George Javier. (Thanks to StompboXX for this reference!) [2] 8/2/03 Stop the Clock segment, question: "Ano ang title ng Star Wars Episode I?" (What was the title of Star Wars Episode I?) And Rez Cortez answered, "Star Wars!" [3] Laban O Bawi segment: Question: "Anong pelikula ang nagsisimula sa sentence na A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.?" (Which movie has the sentence, A long time ago...?) And no one was able to answer it! (Thanks to hat_tr1ck for #2 & #3)

Elimidate - [1] 4/2/05 One date recounts: I have different sides that they're gonna find out about [deep breathing, as Darth Vader] Howie, you could be our father.  That's awesome, dude!  ... Well, Kimberly, you have some pressure on your - on your side now.  You have to decide between... //You're using the Force too much//  The Padawan who will never become a Jedi or a fully established and accomplished Jedi Knight.  //Darth Vader//  I've never talked so much about Star Wars on the first date, and I hope that I never will again  //Who will the Force be with?  The final cut is next!// [2] 4/12/05A guy is very into Star Wars on a date in Miami, FL. Excerpts:  Howie, what do you do for a living that you know so much? >> I'm a pharmaceutical Sales rep. >> Did you say a Farmer? >> Farmer? Well, young Luke was a Farmer before he became a Jedi. >> And reality sets in. >> Would you let me talk, little boy? >> You've been talkin' all day! >> But I love Star Wars, you know? My goal is to ultimately, I think I have the ability to become a Jedi one day. I got a lightsaber, I got a Yoda doll, I watch the Star Wars movies all the time.  [as Yoda] The Force is not strong with him, obviously.   You have plenty of wisdom.  Yes, Buddha, you very much do because you're also Yoda, you see. >>  Today's the first day of the rest of my life, and the best is yet to come. >>The first day of the rest of your life?  What have you done with your life?  >> I've learned to know enough that you don't get great, big, thick builds like this just workin' out eatin' potato chips. >>No, but you're the one braggin' about where the beef is.  Aren't you the one that's so powerful.>>Bigger isn't better.>>All-knowing and wise?>>Look at master Yoda.  he's knockin' everybody down, and he's half their size. >>And weren't you crackin' on my size earlier?  So, what does that mean, I'm master Yoda now, and you're my Jedi Knight?  He just keeps talking about Star Wars.  "I am Yoda.  Hello."   >>Can Yoda help Howie?>>My boy Jon has a lot to learn about the knowledge of the Force.  That's why I'm gonna use an old Jedi Mind Trick on him, and that's why I'm gonna be leaving with Kim when nightfall is over.

Enemy Within, The (2002 UK) - 

Q: What was the name of the Wookiee that owed smuggler Han Solo, a life debt?

A: Chewbacca

Q: In the 1977 Star Wars film, what was the name of the actress that played Princess Leia Organa?

A: Carrie Fisher

Q: Anakin Skywalker was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force to become which character?

A: Darth Vader

Entertainment Tonight (US TV) - TV Guide reviewer compared Hannibal to Star Wars

E-Search Party (US game) - Featured numerous clues to Star Wars, as it was a celebrity/film scavenger hunt. One of the clues referenced Han Solo, with the final answer being Star Wars itself. The question was answered by co host/participator Carol Grow.

 

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Family Feud (US GS) - [1] Name something people know about Luke Skywalker: MPA's (Most Popular Answers) 1. From Star Wars 2. Darth Vader's Son 3. Was a Jedi Knight 4. Uses the Force 5.Uses a lightsaber 6. Leia's brother [2] Name something people know about Darth Vader: MPA's 1. Luke's Father 2. On Star Wars 3. Went to the Darkside 4. James Earl Jones 5. Wears Black 6. Wears a helmet 7. Uses a lightsaber

Fear Factor (US GS) - [1] The host asks a contestant, Derek, what his thoughts were, Derek's answer, 'You know when Luke Skywalker is supposed to blow up the Death Star at the end of the first movie? ...and Obi-Wan tells him to turn off his targeting computer, and Luke does that? Well, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna play Luke Skywalker" [2] Jason said he would have to "go Jedi" in order to make it to the next round. He got thrown after 3.8 seconds (the second slowest in the group). The only person he beat was the former Miss Rhode Island. And he only beat her time by .4 seconds.  [3] 2/1/05 Whoo!  Whoo-Hoo!  18 feet, 5 inches.  Dude, check you out.  See, you were all worried, but it turned out that you are the one in the lead.  All right, Derek.  Let's get you laced up.  What I'm thinking about, actually, watching everyone else - feels like Luke Skywalker at the end of the first "Star Wars" when he turns off the computer and just goes with the Force and when to drop into the generator to blow up the Death Star.  [4] 4/22/05 Rogan: Jason, how are you feeling, man? Typically, I'm not known for my flow in bmx racing. There's no pedals on a bull, my man. I'm gonna have to find the flow somehow. I'm gonna have to get Jedi or something. Let's go, Jedi. Let's do it.

Fox and Friends (US) - [1] 4/22/05 Weathercast...incorrectly states..."All right. On this Friday getaway, it's dry out West.  Great day in Tucson, 86°  58° in Colorado Springs.  Dry and nice for the most part.  It dropped a foot of snow in the higher elevations of the Rockies.  50's, 60's, 70's in the mid part of the Plains.  Houston, it will be a wet one.  Wet as well in Minneapolis, where I understand they're having a big Star Wars festival.  (duh)  [2] 5/18/05 Steve: sith is right after Fife. No, you know what, you could actualitily do a little studying. I'm not going to look. But what would sith mean? >> A set of rogue Jedi who use the dark side of the force for personal gain. How's that? >> That was the answer I was looking for. A round of applause. You're going to the movie tonight at midnight. Congratulations. >> Thanks. Steve: buy her popcorn because the movie is free.

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Globe Trekker () - Indonesia: Bali and Sulawesi 12/27/04 Near the end of the show:  So I'm always curious where you find the pieces. In my mind I have this romantic vision that you are, you know, scouring the Hills of southern China and a little old lady comes and says, "come here, my pretty, I have something To show you." Yes, we did. Really? Yes! Priscilla, Indiana Jones of Chinese antiques. Wow... Exactly. Exactly what you said. McCormick: who is going to play you in the movie? (Both laughing) McCormick: the special economic zone of Shenzhen is just across the Chinese Border from the new territories.

Greed (1999 GS) - A question: "Betsy Ross, Santa Claus, and Darth Vader have all been which of the following candy dispensers: Skittles , M & Ms, or PEZ. Well, the correct answer is PEZ, and the guy got it right.

Ground Force (1998 UK Garden) - At the end of an episode says, "May the Ground Force be with you"

 

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Hannity & Colmes (US) - ALAN: Finally tonight, at midnight the latest Star Wars movie will hit the theaters.  Some very dedicated fans have been lined up to see it.  That gave them a lot of time to play Stormtrooper and talk politics.  You've taken your first step into a larger world!  [Star Wars theme plays]  George Bush, the Force is with him.  I don't think you can deny the similarity between Emperor Palpatine's regime and the Bush administration.  ..I would compare the Bush administration to the Palpatine administration.  I think Cheney is the emperor. ...I could do a Jedi mind trick on dick Cheney I'd turn him into a lib R5789 Yoda probably would have voted for Ralph nader. >> I like to think Yoda is a smart Guy so he would have voted for George Bush. >> Howard Dean and Chewbacca? Howard >> Chu Backa. Howard Dean.  Sounds more like he's in pain than Chewbacca.  If disputes were - If disputes were settled with lightsabers it would be really cool.  Everyone's kind of old so I don't think they would have the accuracy down.  If Hannity and Colmes got into a saber duel, I'd give it to Colmes.  He appears to be the underdog but that's the nature of the Force, to be hidden and come out.  Lightsaber?  I think Sean Hannity has it.  I think they would both lose.  They'd cut their heads off because they're reckless.  ALAN: That's fair and balanced, right?  We both lose.  SEAN: I challenge you.  Pay-Per-View!

Hollywood Showdown (1999 US GS) - Q: Which one of the following characters has appeared in all the Star Wars movies? a) R2D2 b) Yoda c) Luke Skywalker

Hollywood Squares (1998 US GS) - Final Q: Even though people call the first movie just plain 'Star Wars', what is the actual name for the first Star Wars movie? A's: A) Rebellion B) A New Hope C) Turmoil in the Stars (contestant answered correctly)

 

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In a Fix (US) - Now and Zen At one point a guy says, "We're dealing with Star Wars here, right?  Whip out the lightsaber and we're good to go."  and towards the end of the show, "It's like a lightsaber, we did it, huh?  That's pretty bad ass"

INDY 500 - (a Star Warsian slip) What the announcer wanted to say, '..last time a rookie won...' What came out was, "The last time a Wookiee won before that..." he paused...then went with it, "Yes, Chewbacca won the race in 1972"

In The Wild (US 1998 Animal Planet) - 3 series special. Actress Holly Hunter goes in search of the Cheetah in Africa. In her quest she encounters a Cheetah named Chewbacca...the Cheetah had been orphaned as a cub and brought to conservationist Laurie Marker-Krause who then raised the cub into adulthood. 

Inside Edition (US 1988) - Laser procedures: Hanna Storm will undergo a dramatic new procedure to remove the birthmark. " It's really "star wars" stuff you see the lasers, the laser just zaps you."

Inside the Actor's Studio (US 1994 bio) - Robin Williams (#7.14) 6/10/01 Robin Williams guests. Q: How was Mork born? A: 'Marshall's kid saw Star Wars and thought there should be an alien on Happy Days' On artificial Intelligence in real life: 'What computers have done, the internet and movies...now the last Star Wars (ref to TPM )

Inside Schwartz (US 2001) - Julie: "Yah, my dad felt so sorry for me he offered to pay your half of the rent till I get back on my feet." Shwartz: "Hey, half of that is mine." Julie: "Welcome to the Darkside, Luke."

Iron Chef, The ( 2001 Cooking) - music from 'Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire' soundtrack [1] Imperial City [2] Destruction of Xizor's Palace used in the opening sequence of the 21st century special on the Food Network (interesting to note here that in Japan they used Star Trek music) the competition was between Bobby Flay and Morimoto Masaharu.

It's Your Chance of a Lifetime (US 2000 GS) - Q: In the 'Empire Strikes Back', what swamp-dwelling creature does Frank Oz do the voice for?

 

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Jakers! The Adventures of Piggly Winks - Extra! Extra! Host: I had never seen him before, and he was frowning.  Then he started talking.  His voice was really deep, and I thought he sounded really mean like Darth Vader or something.  I was sure it was gonna be a horrible year, but you know what? It wasn't horrible.  It was great.

Jeff Corwin Experience, The (US 2001) - [1] Jeff was showing and describing a small green frog. Jeff likened the frog to a mini-Yoda, holding the frog up to the camera and saying, "Luke, you will go to Endor" in his best Yoda voice. [2] The Amazon: Goin' Bananas 5/17/05 Showing a Monkey Frog, Jeff says, "Ok, something else that's really cool about this creature, is its mouth has that jabba the Hutt look to it. Yes, looks like jabba the Hutt, but that mouth is very functional in acquiring its prey because it will just sit there and it will wait for food to come by, such as a small fish or a frog."

Jeopardy (US GS) - [1] Category: Warriors / Answer: 'Luke had to use the Force to become one of these warriors' / Question: 'Who are the Jedi?' [2] Category: Name that Flick / Answer: 1977, 'You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought' / Question: What is Star Wars? (the contestant gave the answer Annie Hall...which was up for best picture with Star Wars at the 1978 Oscars)  [3] 2001 Tournament of Champions - Category: Robot Mania / Answer: 'This shiny astromech droid from Naboo met his counterpart during a sandstorm' / Question: 'What/Who is R2D2? [4] Category titled "Star Wars Characters" The clues in the category were: 

$400 - She is Luke Skywalker's twin sister.

$800 - These two Droids were the only witnessed to Anakin and Padmé's marriage.

$1200 - The sounds used for this Wookiees voice came from Camel, bears, ...

$1600 - Ahmed Best was the voice for this character.

$2000 - This Bounty Hunter was a clone of his father in AOTC. 

[5] Category "Star Wars Trivia" The Millennium Falcon was modeled after a burger with an olive next to it [6] November 8, 2004 Jeopardy unveils the Star Wars category  as a single movie (not often done). [7] December 2004 Star Wars category Double Jeopardy - Luke, R2D2, Chewbacca, Stormtrooper, Anthony Daniels C3PO for $2000.  [8] 1/11/05 Film Criticism  ...What is "Annie Hall"? Film criticism, $600. What is "star wars"? Film criticism for $800..  [9]1/15/05 Chris Miller (Star Wars fan) was a contestant/champion [10] 4/23/05 Tom, start us.  Let's do MOVIE Villains for $400.  Who is Darth Vader?  [11] March 2005? During Alex Trebek's chat with the players, one of the contestants told a story about how he had played against another contestant once, and then played against the same person a second time in a "Jeopardy!" tournament. Referring to his repeat encounter with the same contestant, he paraphrased, "When I left you I was but the learner, now I am the master." (Thanks to KJ for this reference!) [12] October 13, 2005 Kids Week 

$400 - Five of the movies were Rated PG and Revenge of the Sith was Rated this.

$600 - Luke was originally called Starkiller but it was changed to this.

$800 - In the first movies he was a puppet but the last two movies he was made from CGI.

$1000 - There were the only two characters to appear in all six movies.

$2000 - Sam Jackson insisted he have a purple lightsaber when he played this character. 

Jeopardy (Danish GS) - [1] Category: Star Wars Answer: This is the Danish translation of Star Wars Question: What is 'Stjernekrigen'? Answer: This man wrote the, so far, 4 Star wars movies and directed 2 of them. Question: Who is George Lucas? Answer: This is the name of Luke Skywalker's father with the heavy breathing. Question: Who is Darth Vader? Answer: This one of Han Solo's droids looks like an old vacuum cleaner Question: Who/What is R2D2? (funny, I didn't know Han Solo owned R2...hehe) Answer: This classic British actor played Obi-Wan Kenobi in the first movie from 1977 Question: Who is Alec Guinness? (though, WE know he was in all three) [2] 2005 Categories (word play only): May the Force be with You; The Empire Strikes Back; Star Wars (Thanks to Outbound Sith for this reference!)

Jimmy Kimmel Live (US 2003) - 1/31/05 Everyone's excited about the release of the new Star Wars movie.  Word is, this one is going to be a lot more intense than the others.  May even get a PG-13.  Which would be a first.  All the other films were rated PG.  Producers say it's going to be darker and meaner than all the other films.  You can see what they're talking about from this exclusive clip we got off the internet. [laughter] 

  son of a b**ch! [laughter' Jimmy: wow, I knew the Empire was evil, but, keying another man's car, it's too much!

[2] 2/2/05 One of Jimmy's guests is Chewbacca: JIMMY: Our next guest tonight is best known for his role as Han Solo's loveable and shaggy sidekick in the original Star Wars trilogy, which was just released on DVD today.  There it is.  He's the Wookiee without a cause.  The co-pilot of the Millennium Falcon, and one heck of a hairy sidekick - please say hello to Chewbacca, everybody! (cheers and applause) // Can I call you Chewie?  [laughter]  //Is that right? I didn't know you were a part of that.  I know you're a happily married Wookiee now  but back in the day, when Star Wars was, you know- - you were quite a player, weren't you? //   Jimmy goes on to ask Chewbacca questions including: 'What's the deal with C3P0?

   

[3] 3/2/05 Jimmy does a sort of Star Wars fan dating game thing with 3 fanboys, partial excerpts: 

>> I'd say Darth Vader. >> JIMMY: Darth Vader. Why is that? >> I'm tall. Dark. I -- when you turn on my light Saber, it gets red and long. [ Cheers and applause] >> all right. >> JIMMY: very Clever. Bachelor number two, same question, bachelor number two. >> BACHELOR #2: Hi there, Sarah. I would most likely be Lando Calrissian in bed.  Like Lando, I've got a nice mustache. I'm also dark. And I'm a smooth operator from the clouds. >> Jimmy: oh, very nice. >> Okay. >> Jimmy: and bachelor number three, Brian. >> BACHELOR #3 (Brian): I would have to say I'd be like Yoda. Because -- [ laughter ] Yoda's got 900 years of experience. And, you know, like you said -- size matters not. >> JIMMY: there you go. All right. Very well-answered. Let's move on to question number two.  All excellent answers so far. Sarah, go ahead. >> All right. So -- >> JIMMY: bachelor number two. >> Bachelor number two? Let's see here. Let's say I'm the death star. And you're an X-Wing fighter. How would you get past my defenses? >> JIMMY: very good question. >> BACHELOR #2 (Marvin): That's a real challenging question. But in real life, I don't think it would be too big of a challenge. I would come straight in. My wingmen would be at my side.  But I wouldn't need them after a while. And once I'm in your trench, I'd shoot my two Proton torpedoes and I'd be in, baby. >> JIMMY: there you go. Thank you, Marvin. [ Cheers and applause ] bachelor number three. >> Okay. >> JIMMY: Sarah's the death star. You're an X-Wing fighter. How do you get past her defenses? >> I wouldn't Zip in so quickly. I'd take it easy. I'd take each of the Gun Towers at a time. You know? Take my time.  bachelor number three. >> Okay....

 

[4] Jimmy also says, Hitchhiker (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) fans are crazier than Star Wars, Star Trek And Clay Aiken fans combined" [4]  03/02/05 Robbie I absolutely right. You know what? If they put it back on the air, he'll swear off internet porn forever. Deal? Deal?  ...Darth Vader's right. "Star trek" is the funniest show on TV

[5] 5/8/05 Jimmy talks about/to Jeff Tweiten (standing in line for Star Wars in Seattle)  [6] 2/14/05 Fozzie bear is a guest:  Jimmy: that's the way it go, tough Town. We...I think have the tape of when you and some other people auditioned for star wars. Role the Tape! JIMMY: Fozzie Bear. FOZZY:  Mighty Jedi master is he. He is mighty Jedi master. Yoda, Yoda!   Hey, Yoda!  Strong is him the forces - is this supposed to be like this?  Next.  These don't go together.  That's all right.  You're the Jedi master, Yoda.  Thank you, no.  Thank you.  I could be taller, okay?  Next.  Unbelievable.  Too much talking, not enough waaka-waaka, yeah?  No. [cheers and applause]  You thought it was good, right? I was good, wasn't I?  JIMMY: yeah, it was good.  [7] 5/7/05 Jimmy mentions a supervisor and what he should do for his employee, "If supervisor doesn't make him a Jedi knight after that, I don't know what it's going to take."  [8] 5/18/05  Jimmy: you're not going away empty-handed, either. You're going to take home tonight a frozen TV dinner. [ Cheers and applause ] and now, the moment you've been waiting for, he's making his way across the Street. I imagine he's going to scoop you up in his arms and take you back to the apartment where he still lives with his mother. [ Laughter ] here he is, your Jedi knight in shining armor, Han is Solo, the force is with him and now you will be, too.  [9] 5/24/05 Guest Judge Joe Brown.  JIMMY: Great to meet you. Have a seat. You're not wearing your Robe.  BROWN: You mean the Bat cape?   JIMMY: yeah.  BROWN: Sometimes I feel like Darth Vader. Oh, the dark side of the force is strong in this one. But anyway -- JIMMY: you are not with the dark side.   BROWN:  No.   JIMMY: you are with the Jedi and the Law. Is it really the Law you follow?  BROWN: Yeah, it's the law. Not just the mood that day.  [10] 6/1/05 JIMMY: So, anyway, there's so many products out there.  There's action figures, there's figures, there's these Princess Leia cinnamon head rolls. [laughter] I don't know if you've seen them in the store.  There's so many things.  Let's see what else we have here.  Oh, this is something.  The Chewbacca home pregnancy test. [laughter] you got - actually, pull out the - [laughter] it's a girl.  See what else we have here. Oh, this is nice.  Sometimes actually - nice for the summer Boba Foot Powder. [laughter] and they don't get better from there really/  We got this Darth Vader asthma inhaler thing. [laughter]  All right,  and we got these tissues, which we really didn't mark at all.  And - oh!  This is something special, actually.  This is great for like a camping trip or something.  It's the Taun-Taun intestine sleeping bag.  Let me show you how this works.  A lot of sleep bags, you'll get cold, especially novelty ones.  This one is nice, it keeps you very warm because the inside is full of all disgusting animal intestines.  [audience groans]  yeah, that's nice.  Can come in handy for your 40-year-old virgins, too.  All right, very good. [cheers and applause] I shouldn't have thrown the tissues away.  <<Use the powder.  Use the powder>>

[11] 6/4/05 No adult person should Camp outside a movie theater. But, they're not all nerds. They're not all weirdos. They're just people who saw Star Wars when they were kids. They fell in love with it. They're perfectly normal people, like you and me and this woman.WOMAN FAN: My favorite part, I'd have to say when Yoda decides to be awesome. He's always awesome. But just a couple parts when like -- yes! Yoda! [ Cheers and applause ] JIMMY: very popular in line. The Sad thing is, that's her real skin. [ Laughter ] whether you like Star Wars Or not, it's everywhere you turn the conservative estimate right now is that on average, every person on the planet will have seen it 8.2 Times by the end of the Summer. The good news, I guess, is, people seem to lead..do you have a job? FAN: I'm actually currently unemployed. And -- but I saw the movie. And If you're watching this, you didn't.  /   There was a fight after the Star Wars premiere last night. This is an e-mail, actually, one of the young ladies, Molly got from her friend. John. He said he saw the 12:01 showing. Guys were getting clocked. Guys were laying on the Street. And then this Guy, John, called 911. So, you can see the showdowns are not just reserved for the Jedi and the Sith. It happens everywhere. That's a Hell of a thing to fight over.  /   The big news, of course, in Hollywood, is Star Wars, It's Star Wars it's Star Wars. A lot of other things going on. Here to tell us about all those things, a man who eats, sleeps and dreams about Hollywood. This is Guillermo, with Guillermo's Hollywood Roundup. Hello, Guillermo? GUILLERMO: Hi, Jimmy. JIMMY: Did you see Star Wars? GUILLERMO: Yes, Jimmy. When I was a kid. JIMMY: oh, yeah? Which one did you see? GUILLERMO: The first one, Jimmy. JIMMY: which is your favorite Star Wars character?  GUILLERMO: Oh, my favorite -- R 2 d 2000 Jimmy. JIMMY: that's the -- that's the robot full of salsa, right? GUILLERMO: Yes, Jimmy. You know why I like him? JIMMY: why do you like him? GUILLERMO: Because he's round and short like me. He makes funny noises, Jimmy. JIMMY: there you go.

Journal Editorial Report (US ) - 4/22/05 Kofi Annan's friends have told Tom either shape up or someone is going to ship him out so, we have a hearing about this.  Have you heard aboiut any of these issues?  About reforming the United Nations?  No.  Instead what we've heard is that John Bolton is incapable of using a finger bolt or wearing a tux or bowing and kissing ladies' hands and he's been sent out there to try to reform a place that's being run like the Star Wars bar.

Junkyard Wars (US/UK GS) - [1] members of one team are chanting 'Ya- do, Ya- do' in ref to ROTJ's Ewok chant to C3PO [2] stuff like: 'Use the Force'

 

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Last Call with Carson Daly - 3/10/05 Do you know about Kerry coming out here? Kerry Konrad coming from new York. >> I do. I'm aware of his work. >> Carson: yes. Are you upset with this man? >> No. >> Carson: no? >> I think he's great. [ Laughter ] I actually do respect him. I know they don't normally know the story, but I respect him in the way you Admire an evil villain. Like -- >> Carson: all right, we'll bring out Darth Vader in just a second. [ Cheers and applause ] Rob Corddry's gonna hang out. We'll be right back with Yankees fan Kerry Konrad.

Late, Late Show (US Chat) - THE NEWS: [1] "...and now for news out of the country named for Luke Skywalker's Aunt: Today out of Peru..." [2] 'George W. Bush appointed three top scientists to help out with his new Star wars mille defense plan; Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Chewbacca" (complete with pictures of all three)

Late Show with Craig Kilborn, The (2001) - 10/3/01 Johnny Depp dressed as a Stormtrooper and never took the mask off.

Letterman (late night US) - [1] "Star Wars" in its first weekend made, like, $2 billion. Well, it turns out now that it didn't make as much as what they first thought – thank you, Arthur Andersen! [2] Do you have Star Wars fever? It's one of those things where you try to hold back, then when it gets here you can't help yourself. Here's an example. President Clinton has Star Wars fever. He was up at his house in Chappaqua and was using The Force on an intern.   [3] Bill Murray spoofs Star Wars merchandising

[4] 2/21/97 

10.  Your poodles are named "C," "3," "P" and "O"

9.  You won't sleep with your wife unless she says, "Help me, Obi Wan, You're my only hope"

8.  You spent $10,000 trying to Rogaine yourself into Chewbacca.

7.  You're continually stunned when the President makes major decisions without consulting Mark Hamill

6.  Your favorite pickup line:  "Would you like to handle my light saber?"

5.  You keep referring to your lawn mower as "that crazy droid"

4.  You spend most of your days trying to use "the Force"

3.  You once saw an eggplant that looked kind of like Darth Vader and almost had a heart attack.

2.  Your sex life is strictly, "Han Solo," if you know what I mean

1.  You like Yoda so much, you voted for Ross Perot

[5] May 1999 Top Ten Things People Hate More Than Jar Jar Binks:

10. Bleeding profusely from the ears, nose and eyes

9. The thought of a Quayle presidency

8. People who ask, "Workin' hard or hardly workin'?"

7. His wife, Hillary Rodham Binks

6. Finding out Amy Fisher is your new neighbor

5. Having a perfectly good day and then suddenly for no reason thinking of Andy Rooney

4. The Belgians

3. The Secret Word Contest

2. Anyone besides Austin Powers who uses phrase, "Yeah, baby!"

1. Spending eight bucks to watch him

[6] 5/6/99 Top Ten Star Wars' Fans Complaints About The New Movie:

10. Lame scene where Ewoks are freed from captivity by Reverend Jesse Jackson.

9. R2-D2 sexier with the implants in.

8. "A long time ago, in a galaxy far away" replaced with "Make me a billionaire, losers."

7. You never find out what the "Matrix" is.

6. When theater lights come back on, you're still a 40-year old virgin.

5. Scene where Millennium Falcon hits an iceberg feels tacked on.

4. There's no glowing hockey guy.

3. Somebody forgot to cut price tags off Wookiee costumes.

2. Most of special effects budget went toward giving Yoda a realistic looking rash.

1. Media is virtually ignoring its release.

[7] 4/6/99 Top Ten Rejected Star Wars Characters

10.  Oprah the Winfrey

9.  10-10-321, The Telephone Droid

8.  Tae Bo

7.  Captain Overhype

6.  Ol' Dirty Ewok

5.  Bobadan Milosovic

4.  R2 Deepak Chopra

3.  Sticky, the Talking Piece of Chewing Gum

2.  Obi Wan Jacobi and Meyers

1.  Star Jones

[8] Distracting the way young Vader's parents keep buying him "Star Wars" action figures.

Obi Wan would never set propulsion unit to 715,296, he would set it to 715,297.

Earlier generations of spaceships can't exceed 45 miles per hour.

Jabba didn't seem as hutty as I remember.

After every special effect actors would look into camera and say, "Pretty cool, huh?"

Obi Wan Kenobi would never use the word "jiggy."

[9] 4/28/99 Top Ten Star Wars Fan Euphemisms for Not Having a Girlfriend

10.  Camping alone outside the theatre

9.  My Force is no longer with me.

8.  The Death Star is not yet operational

7.  The Empire's striking out.

6.  Shaking hands with the wookie

5.  Darth Vader has no place to put his helmet.

4.  Oiling the Droid

3.  Unable to set coordinates for the planet Babe.

2.  Spending the night with Han Solo

1.  Tractor beam not powerful enough

[10] 1/31/97 Top Ten Surprises In The New Version Of "Star Wars" 

10. Part of Chewbacca now played by a shirtless Ed Asner.

9. Commander of the Death Star: Dr. Kevorkian.

8. Land speeders replaced with bitchin' pink Miatas.

7. Comic relief provided by Cheech Marin as Luke Skywalker's wacky Mexican caddy.

6. Darth Vader's voice goes up 3 octaves after Dennis Rodman kicks him in the groin.

5. Instead of "May the force be with you," Obi-Wan Kenobi says, "Show me the money."

4. Keeps coming on the P.A. to point out clouds that look like his old high school teachers.

3. Luke and Darth Vader work together to beat the crap out of a bunch of Trekkies.

2. New scene in which Jabba The Hut is hugged by a sobbing Richard Simmons.

1. R2D2? Gay.

[11] 5/24/99 Top Ten Thoughts On the Minds of People in Line for Star Wars

10.  "nice of Cher to loan me her Academy Awards outfit."

9.  "First in line...This'll look good on my resume"

8.  "The babes should be coming over to talk to me any minute now."

7.  "I shouldn't have to wait in this line -- I'm Carrie Fisher."

6.  "I sense a disturbance in my hairline."

5.  "Is that some sort of image-gathering droid?"

4.  "Princess Leia...Princess Leia...Princess Leia...Princess Leia..."

3.  "What I want is a prequel to 'Turner and Hooch'."

2.  "This line better move soon, or Paul will have to host the show for me."

1.  "What a couple of geeks."

[12] Casting TPM skit: Cast members: Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, Barry White, Mel Gibson, a different looking Mark Hamill, Tommy Tune and Jerry Springer. [13] Conan O'Brien is the guest and he brings a 'film clip' it starts off with the Ep1 crawl and 'Long Ago Conan...so he brought the Star Wars trailer'  [14] "Star Wars" opened last night! Did you attend the big "Star Wars" gala? Is it just me or is Yoda looking more and more like Regis? In the new "Star Wars Episode Two: Attack of The Clones" an evil Jedi, Count Dooku, clones an army with Jango Fett. Do you know what this means? Me neither. [15] Attention, "Star Wars" fans – only one more day until the big letdown! All your favorite "Star Wars" characters are back in "Episode Two: Attack of The Clones." There's Obi, Yoda, Jar-Jar Binks and Mullah Omar. [16] making fun of mascots and then he said "and here's (some-made-up-college's) mascot, the Dumb Jedi!" A guy dressed as a Jedi holding a plastic lightsaber by the wrong end walked across the stage  in a combination of the lightsaber sound and OWWWW!

[17]  May 2005 (C. Andrew Nelson makes an appearance here as Darth Vader)

10. Why don't I have anything better to do?  

9. How many Wookiees does my tent sleep?  

8. Will it be more fun than when I camped out to see 'Miss Congeniality 2'?  

7. Exactly when did I give up on doing anything meaningful with my life?  

6. Will I be teased by roving gangs of Trekkies?  

5. If I use all my vacation days now, how will I take that trip to ice planet Hoth?  

4. Does Starbucks let guys dressed as galactic bounty hunters use their bathroom?  

3. I wonder how many other guys online are named 'Shecky'?  

2. Should I just pay the extra dollar and use Moviefone?  

1. If I had a girlfriend, what would she think?

Live with Regis and Kelly (US 2001)- Kelly says, 'There's been a great disturbance in the Force'

Lost Dinosaurs of Egypt (US 2002) - Paleontologist nicknamed "Chewie" because of his long hair and beard. Yoda doll set up in the shot! 

 

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Monster Garage (US) - 4/14/05 Jesse's new plan for the DeLorean is to run a six-inch PVC pipe around the perimeter of the car and through the center air duct, thus creating a cushion for the car to float on.  The crew slavages the air sacks off the old hovercraft.  These are like the kind they use for handcuffs.  We're cutting its sack off.  You look like an Ewok.

Most Extreme - Big Mouths Its bad temper, slimy appearance, and  monstrous appetite have earned it the nickname Jabba the Hutt.  Swallowing a mouse whole is easy if you're an Argentinean wide-mouthed frog.

Most Outrageous Game Show Moments 5 - One of the first clips is has someone saying: You look like you should be in Star Wars.  I am your Darth Vader, and you're Princess Leia, punk.

MSNBC- Mike Barnicle hosted a segment which featured a discussion on our use of modern day catch-phrases like 'wazzzup!" etc. Are they encouraging or degenerating our language. The discussions went on but no answer was given but, all agreed that it was subjective. (Mike Barnicle ended the discussion by telling the guests in an upbeat manner, 'May the Force be with you.'

MTV Movie Awards (2000) - [1] Lisa Kudrow comes to the Jedi Council to request permission to host the awards show. Kudrow and Ki-Adi Mundi make fun of Yoda for talking funny and being so old. [2] The Lifetime Achievement Award is presented to Chewbacca, by Mike Myers, who says, "He has been a definite influence on me, and is the reason I make movies" (see Austin Powers)

Mythology of Star Wars, The (US 1999 PBS) - June 1999  Special on Star Wars with George Lucas and hosted by Bill Moyers.

 

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On Stage at the Kennedy Center: Mark Twain Prize (US 2005) - 3/2/05 Comedian Tracy Morgan (from Saturday Night Live) talks about Lorne Michaels, who is receiving the prize: And knowing Lorne Michaels is like -- when I met him, it was like when Luke skywalker met Obi-Wan Kernobi. I was a young Jedi, I was ambitious, but I was reckless. He guided me to the Dagobah system of comedy. And he taught me how to be a young comic Jedi.

 

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Pass The Buck (2002 Aus GS) - Q: The 1977 film Star Wars lists twenty five major characters. List them all. The contestants got the obvious ones, like R2D2, Han Solo, Darth Vader, Princess Leia, etc. 

Paula Zahn Now - 4/27/05 They have found thousands of pages of documents,  in numerous countries, archives and private homes.  Even in this Austrian castle.  There is a 1,200 page genealogy, half rotten, sitting in a secret chamber behind an old castle's library..sounds like Indiana Jones or something like that.   It did happen to us.  It was known that Hitler commissioned a genealogy but the two foudn the original including hundreds of pages of supporting documentation, six year of work by genealogist Frederick VanFrank.

Pepsi Chart (Aus) - (also in Music) A band called 'The Hive' was on the show and told the host that the song, 'Yes, I bet you have' was inspired by the same line that Han Solo spoke in ANH.

Pet Star (US ) - [1] 5/6/05 Talking about a Shelty:  This is a cool dog because he's well-mannered, he's chilled out. He listens to you, and then he's like a Jedi.  Talking about a group of dogs being controlled by their owner: Herb, you're like Obi-Wan Kenobi 'cause you just kind of, like -- you do the whole Jedi thing on them. That is so cool!  [2] 5/23/05 ...Just the frog, you're a frog hypnotist, specifically, okay. Well, let's take a look at the instant replay here. There you are, this is when you were using your whole Jedi-mind trick on the frog. And then all of a sudden, Bam, it's totally asleep. That was quite impressive, Abby, very good job.

Premium Blend on Comedy Central (US com) - Harlan Williams hosts...his opening- calls to friends house gets machine sounds like Chewbacca then he answers AS Chewie. Dinner is like eating With R2D2...phones, beepers et., going off.

Pyramid (2002 US GS) - One of its categories is named "Welcome to the Dark Side". It was the third category picked. The contestant needs to describe to the celebrity (or was that vice versa?) a certain category for 20 seconds. In this case, the category is "Dark Places". Unfortunately, the contestant ran out of time and only got 4 out of 6. The four words successfully guessed are, Forest, Closet, Cave, and Tunnel.  (Thanks to Darth Malt)

Punk'd (2003 US) -  Dec 2003 OutKast was driven to an after-gig party at a mansion in Hollywood (the hills) in a swanky Mercedes Mayback (A-Class Mercedes limo which was called "the Millennium Falcon of our fleet." on the show). During the party OutKast were told the car had been in an accident and they had to go and check it out. The car had gone through a shop window causing loads of damage to the shop and the car, and was surrounded by fire trucks, helicopters and police. OutKast were told that because their company OutKast Inc. Had rented the vehicle they were responsible for damages in excess of $350,000.

Pyramid (2002+) - Host Donny Osmond July 30, 2004 Category: Star Trek Spoken Here: Things that would appeal to the sci-fi mind:  R2S2 is a...?

 

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Reading Rainbow  - Dive to the Coral Reefs LaVarr Burton is host of this educational show. don't have gills, and there's no air underwater. I take air in this Tank. The air goes through this tube and a Hole in the mouthpiece, which is called a regulator. Breathe normally. Sounds a little bit like Darth Vader, but the fish don't mind.

Reboot Special: My Two Bobs (2001) - Matrix morphs into Darth Vader during a game. Enzo morphs into Mannequin Skywalker. A podracing spoof. Phong morphs into a Yogurt and talk like Yoda.

Regis and Kelly (1992) - 3/7/05 Kelly: I am your father [Star Wars theme plays] Kelly: I will take you down! [applause] Regis: we're running out of time.  tomorrow on the show, Greg Kinnear will be here.  Kelly: and Tears for Fears Regis: and George Lopez, of course.  Chris (Chris Byrne "the toy guy") is coming back with more toys.   We'll have him on Friday.  Kelly: May the Force be with you.  Regis: Yes, May the Force be with you.

   

Religion & Ethics Newsweekly (US) -  Teaching Evolution; Anglican Primates Meeting 2/27/05   a young man says: I thought I would be a Preacher-- more specifically, a missionary. That seemed cooler. Had an image, I think, of Indiana Jones with a bible.

Rough Science - The Big Smelt 2/13/05 The teams builds a furnace to smelt and forms gold into souvenirs. I thin

Rosie O'Donnell Show, The (US 1996 Chat) - May 1999 was 'Star Wars' month on the show! Including a Star Wars sweepstakes where you could have won a huge model of the Millennium Falcon and a Darth Vader talking bank...which was sitting on her desk.

 

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So, Graham Norton (UK 1998 chat) - Two male models (the one's who escorts the guests to the stage) are dressed in Jedi Robes and boxers, have plastic, lighted, retractable lightsabers.

Street Smarts (US 2000 GS) - Wager of death question: Who was Luke Skywalker's father?

Star Trek Special (US 2001) - Hosted by Jonathan Frakes to kick off a 5 day marathon of the best episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Was watching TNN today....all Trek day (instead of naming it The National Network it should have been named The Trek Network). The special was about the Trek phenomenon. At the end of this special they put the camera on different fans and they'd recite lines from the series' and films...the last shot was of Stormtroopers, an Imperial officer and Darth Vader saying...we love Star Trek...though some or most said 'Star Wars'. The guy dressed as Darth Vader said something like "You can dress them up but you can't take them out." Funny.

Survivor (1999) - [1] As contestants go through an endurance challenge, one of the, already defeated, contestants was trying to persuade one of the log standers to jump off the log...as he offers a junk food snack he tells the remaining contestants: "Come over to the Darkside!" [2] Kelly - reflecting on her bad feelings about being in a voting alliance said, "I feel like I'm Luke Skywalker, and I've crossed over to the Darkside for a bit"

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Time & Again (US) - MSNBC puts out a series which takes a look back at movies and performances and events. This time they focused on Star Wars and The Phantom Menace.

Throwdown with Bobby Flay (US 2006) - The Chowder episode.  Bobby shows up in a black SUV and Ben calls him Darth Vader in his Star Wars van.  (Thanks to Bonnie Burton for this reference!)

Thugs on Film (UK 1999 Anim) - Thugs review TPM

TODAY (US) - [1]  9/10/03 A review of the best dressers in the celebrity realm, "Rulers of the Red Carpet" at one point Katie Couric makes a comment about the direction they are all taking in describing certain stars (poor dressers), "we're going to the Darkside..." [2] 5/3/05 Intro...Plus use the force. How to shop for the right sized clothes with a machine that looks right at home in star wars. >> Those are not the jeans you are looking for.

Tom Green Show, The (US 1997) - Tom Green and Monica Lewinsky get thrown out of a doughnut shop for fighting with toy lightsabers.

Tonight Show with Jay Leno (US Chat) - these are recent refs. (we know Leno is a big fan of Star Wars and has made hundreds of references to the film series in the the years he's been on the Tonight Show [1] John Lithgow did a great Yoda impression (he played Yoda in the radio dramas of TESB and ROTJ) [2] Jay puts foil in a microwave. He sees images of his parents, each saying, 'remember to remove the foil'. Then he sees TPM Yoda image saying, 'remove the foil' [3] A Yoda made out of Legos is given to a child guest on the show. [4] An audience member asked Jay a question: did Jay Leno ever wear anything off-set besides his denim shirt. They rolled security camera footage of him walking into the building during his off set time, wearing various outfits. One was Vader's 'outfit'. He grabbed a set employee by the throat and threw him to the wall with the Imperial March theme playing. [5] Jay Leno was at a senior citizen's home and asking for impressions from famous movies. Jay asked an 87 year old woman in a Vader helmet, cape and saber to say, 'Luke, I am your father' [6] Ryan Adams is performing with Chewbacca and Darth Vader (cardboard cutouts) as backup singers. [7] Tonight Ben Stiller was the first guest and he was talking about names for his new baby and he said "maybe Scarlett...you know after 'Gone with the Wind' or perhaps Darth Maul...since I am a big fan of the trilogies." [8] Kevin Smith was a guest and was carrying around what looked like to be a florescent cylindrical light bulb and he did a really cheesy impression of Lord Vader "Luke, I am your father" (swings the saber around) "Take out the garbage" Then it cut to an exterior shot of the place and someone said "That Darth Vader impression sucked!!" and then someone else said "Yeah, but so did Mallrats!!" Then two TIE Fighters drop out of the sky and blow the place to pieces. [9] 1999 "There's another Osama bin Laden video out. This proves the guy is losing it. What idiot would release a video the same week as "Star Wars"? "I saw a woman on the news from England that's seen the original "Star Wars" over 1,000 times! She says she never gets bored because there's always something you don't remember – like her medication!"  [10] On this Thursday's episode of "E.R." they are having a Star Wars fan in it. The fan gets surgically implanted with a life! You know the most common thing said by guys waiting in line for "Star Wars"? – "One, please." Do you know what Star Wars fans call it when a man gets married? Turning to the dark side! [11] May 2002 Welcome to "The Tonight Show"! Everyone here are the ones that couldn't get a ticket to see "Star-Wars." "Star Wars: Attack of The Clones" opened last night. Good luck getting hold of tech support for your computer this weekend! [12] 9/10/03 Leno is speaking of the California election and the candidates he says, "one of them was wearing a Darth Vader helmet" [13] 9/30/03 In a skit parody on negative ad campaigns (Governor's race, CA) Jay comes down the hallway of the studio dressed as Darth Vader (Imperial March plays) and he picks up a staff member pinning him to the wall.  [14] 2/4/04 Harlan Williams is a guest, he does a bit on meeting a family, the Kapoor's, at one point Harlan stands next to the grandfather and says, "Does this ring any bells? *voice of Yoda* ...mmmm, yes..." etc. (the grandfather doesn't acknowledge any of this) "...over to the darkside" [15] Jan 21, 2004 Fake News Headline "Bush to expand space exploration...vows to find Darth Vader" [16] June 4, 2002 Jay makes fun of Indy 4 by naming it Indiana Jones and the Temple of Bran  [17] 1997 a young Darth Vader sketch. [18] 4/8/05 (monologue)  [19] 5/20/05 LENO: And it's such a huge event, we thought we'd talk to one of the stars of the movie.  Sithh.  Thhthh - [laughter] "Revenge of the Thh - whatever.  Anyway, we have one of the stars here tonight.   KEVIN: Really?  LENO: Let's go live, via satellite, and talk to the Jedi master himself.  Yoda.  Yoda, are you there?  Yoda?  Let me get Yoda in there.  YODA:  Her I am   JAY: There's Yoda right there.  [applause] ..glad you could talk to us.   All right, all right.  How old are you?   YODA: 876 years, I am.  Same as Keith Richards.   JAY: I see, okay.  So you're 876 years old and you're still working.  Is this because of your Jedi training?   YODA: No, the Bush social security plan.  Screwed are we.  [light laughter]  JAY: What did you say?  YODA:  Screwed are we.  In my galaxy, that joke kills. [laughter]   JAY: Yeah, whatever you say.  Yeah, too bad we're not in that galaxy.  Let me ask you this.  I've always wondered exactly - how did you become a Jedi master?  YODA:  I took a course at the DeVry institute [applause]  JAY: I see.  In just three months working after school, all right, good.  now, look what are you going to do now that the Star Wars saga is finished?  Would you do a TV show?  YODA: I would - I - I actually would.  I mean - ??? was that? [laughter]   JAY: what was that, dyslexic Jedi   YODA:  Hey, leave me alone or I'll whop you in the ass with a lightsaber.  [laughter]   JAY:  Would you agree to doing a TV show?   YODA:  Good.  I would.  I mean, they gave one to Tony Danza.  How hard could it be?  [laughter...ohhhs]   JAY: Let me ask you this.  Wasn't that good of a joke to begin with [laughter] we wasted three minutes on it.   JAY: How about - how about, this one I'll do right. YODA:  It's called "When the Sith Hits the Fan" [laughter]  JAY: I see [applause]   YODA:  A play on words, it is.   JAY:  Yes, it is a play on words.  And let me ask you this, Jedi master.  Do you do well with the ladies?  Like Princess Leia? ... YODA: Trust me, that's Princess no-Leia [laughter]   JAY: So, you're saying the Yoda does not have much of a sex life?   YODA: Yoda not getting any Wookiee.  Every night, Hans Solo am I [laughter and applause] Son of a b**ch!  JAY: Well, thank you, Yoda.

 

[20] 5/24/05 Jay's monologue:  What do you call a Jedi gynecologist? KEVIN: what's that?  JAY: ob-gyn Kenobi. [ laughter ] Hey, Kev.   KEVIN: what's up, Jay? JAY: what do you call a Sith who's afraid of to fight?  KEVIN: what?  JAY: a sithy. I know, I know.  [21] 5/20/05 You know a lot of people have called in sick the last two days with what they're calling the Star Wars flu.  [laughter and applause] you know about that, yeah?  Of course, the good thing about the Star Wars flu, it's never sexually transmitted.  [laughter]  how many have seen it?  Have you seen it yet?  [applause] now, you know, now, although it's really good - but, you know, this final Star Wars movie, it doesn't really tie up all the loose ends. You know, Like, I mean, sure, we find out that Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader, but we never find out how Darth Vader became the voice of CNN.  [laughter] see, they don't explain - they don't go into that.  KEVIN: I was wondering about that  JAY: and the whole Verizon era, we don't know that either.  Interesting, yeah [light laughter]  Hey, Kev, you know what Donald Trump and Darth Vader have in common?  KEVIN: What's that?  JAY: they both have incredibly intimidating-looking helmets, yeah  KEVIN: really?  [laughter and applause]  JAY: Well, have you heard this?  now, a lot of critics are now saying Darth Vader is like President Bush.  They are making that announcement. don't know. You think that's fair? You think that's true? Darth Vader like Bush. I don't think so. "Napoleon dynamite," maybe. But not -- [ laughter ] I'll tell you, I -- isn't that unbelievable.  [22] 5/18/05 I mentioned this yesterday. At the premiere of the "star wars" film at Cannes, there were comparisons being made between Darth Vader and President Bush. Have you heard this? They're comparing the movie to President Bush. Also talk about President Bush's brother, they call him the evil "Jebi" master. The Jebi. The new Star Wars is supposed to be very, very good. It explains the transformation of how Anakin Skywalker went from a young white boy to James Earl Jones.  [23] 2/16/05 director Steven Spielberg says he has postponed the fourth Indiana Jones movie for 18 months now because he didn't like the script. 18 Months. How old will Harrison Ford be then? Have to change it to Indiana Jones and the search for a soft-boiled Egg.  He'll be, like, 70. [ Laughter ] [ applause ] [24] 6/1/05 Patrick Monaghan comedian Chelsea Handler at "star wars." line...Jay: the "star wars" line. [ Laughter ] those guys Y yeah. >> CHELSEA: Mm-hmm, yeah, I went down to one of the theaters where they were showing "Revenge of the Sith." And I was not disappointed.   JAY: really? Wow, wow. So a lot of interesting men?   CHELSEA: Oh, yeah. From this planet and others.  JAY: really? [ Laughter ] you have a Tape?   CHELSEA: Yeah, right here.   JAY: let's check it out. ♪ [ "Imperial March" plays ]   CHELSEA:  oh, ouch. Now, what is "revenge of the Sid"?  >>It's gotta be Star Wars>>  Monster-in-Law?  You're not into Monster-in-Law?>>>  FAN: No, I'm not.  Star Wars all the way.  CHELSEA: So, what character does J. Lo play in Star Wars?  FAN: Lo's in Star Wars?  CHELSEA: I don't know.  Is she?  FAN: Princess Leia  CHELSEA: No, oh, that's actually the character I like to play when I'm role playing.  But that's different.  FAN: You don't look like Princess Leia.  You look much mo better.  I don't know if we are are dating.    CHELSEA: Anybody could take me in a fight [laughter] you could take me in a fight.  Monaghan talked a little on Star Wars: Jay: yeah, yeah. Well, being English. Now, let me ask you this. [ Laughter ] you know how those Europeans are. How about the -- are you into the "star wars" phenomenon? >> Love "star wars." >> Jay: now, you look like you'd be a "star wars" -- >> a geek? >> JAY: no, no, just -- [ laughter ] it's just the hair says "star wars" to me.  I don't know why.  It's something - it just looks Star Warian, in a, a good way.  MONAGHAN:  The reason why I became an actor is Star Wars  JAY: really?  MONAGHAN: Yeah, well, Han Solo is the greatest character of all-time in cinema.  [applause] and I love  Star Wars.  I recently saw the new film.  I have a few issues with it,  which I don't really want to get into.  It will be a four-hour long conversation.  JAY: You have issues.  MONAGHAN:  Yeah, but the main issue that I have, where I really started to have problems with it is - and I don't know if this will mean anything to you.  JAY: yeah.  MONAGHAN:  But in the original Star Wars, George Lucas made Greedo shoot first.  Now, I don't know if this means - clearly, it doesn't mean anything to the audience [laughter] no one has any idea what's going on [man in the audience shouts something]  there you go.  In the original Star Wars Han Solo is walking out of the bar and he is stopped by a, a bounty hunter called Greedo.  And, Greedo says, "If you give me the money that you owe Jabba the Hutt, I'll let you go."  Han Solo pulls out the gun and shoots him dead.  Now, in Star Wars: the Special Edition he pulls out the gun and just before he's going to shoot, Greedo shoots first and hits the wall. ...  [25]  6/1/05 Patrick Monaghan [ Laughter ] what about Jabba the Hutt? I heard Kirstie Alley is playing in this movie. >> I don't think that will happen. [ Laughter ] >> isn't it more like Kirstie the Hutt?  

Tony Danza Show, The (US 2004 Chat) - 10/25/04  Danza demonstrated the Vader voice changer.  Danza's with Vader and a Stormtrooper on the streets of New York City (where the show is taped).  Danza pulls out a toy lightsaber and says that he's Luke Skywalker.  Just after the credits roll we see Vader and the Stormtrooper on the ground, Danza running back into the studio, then tells everyone that they're going home with the toy lightsabers. (Thanks to Karen for this reference!) [2] 5/3/05  Tony gives Anwar Robinson (American Idol) tix to the Star Wars premiere because he knows Anwar's a huge fan.

Tornado Intercept<National Geographic Presents> (US 2005) - 12/18/05 Lead storm chaser, Sean Casey, wears a Darth Vader voice changer device and says the design for his storm-chaser vehicle was inspired by Star Wars...Star Destroyer? ;)

 

Trading Spaces (US 2000 DIY) - Maple Glen/Fiedler Road (#2.3) 10/20/01 One of the participants is painting a lampshade black, he is wearing a protective mask. He starts breathing like Vader and says, 'Luke, I am your father' 

Trauma: Life in the ER Wrong Place, Wrong Time 4/27/05 A Dr. tells a young patient: You're gonna look like you're from Star Wars.

Triplets and Quints: Discovery Health Channel (US 2005) - The Bova quintuplets get really excited when their father says, "now I'll make you guys a great lightsaber"

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Unwrapped (US 2001 food) - [1] Candy Unwrapped: Pez Museum- most requested item? a combo of Darth Vader Pez and a Pez Maid's outfit covering!  [2] Food Unwrapped C3P0/Princess Leia- Cookie Jar Collections.

U.S. House of Representatives (US) - 2/16/05 Rep Tom Pence: We took a memorable helicopter ride on I think it was a ch-53, Hercules helicopter, very much like Luke Skywalker through the Mountains of Jalabad

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VH1 (US 2002/3) - The 80's Strike Back

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Washington Journal (US) - 5/19/05 Bill Frist, senate majority leader has been compared to the supreme Chancellor, Palpatine, who is is right here (pointing). WJ: What do you think of this? >> Guest: it's very funny, but it's a serious point that this is to a large degree another battle in the culture wars.

Weakest Link, The (UK GS) - [1] Q: Name the film in which it's early drafts centered around the adventures of Luke Starkiller? [2] Q: What is the name of the robot played by actor Anthony Daniels? [3] Q: What fictional species in the Star Wars universe start with the letter W? [4] Q: Part 6 of the Star Wars series was 'Return of the...'?what? [5] Q: Which composer wrote both the themes to Raiders of the Lost ark and Star Wars? [6] Q: Which movie inspired the title for President Reagan's missile program? [7] Q: The 22 years awaited prequel to the Star wars series is entitled, 'Star wars Episode One: The Phantom...what'? [8] Q: In The Empire Strikes Back, what character was voiced by Frank Oz? (contestant answered, 'Chew-ee-bacca', not only getting it wrong but mispronouncing) [9] Celebrity WL. Levarr Burton is asked, 'Who was the golden droid from Star Wars?' [10] Q: "What film producer has his offices in northern California's Skywalker ranch?" The contestant answered correctly, "George Lucas" [11] Q: In the 1999 film Star Wars - Episode I: The Phantom Menace, what actress played the young queen of Naboo? Contestant did NOT get this correct  

Weather: Evening Edition (US May 16, 2005) - Paul (weather guy), "Star Wars, new movie opening up on Thursday.  And Chewbacca would say about the weather in the plains, "Grrrrrr"

W.E.I.R.D.  World (US 1995) - Odd Medical procedures. line in narration, '...even use lightsabers to slay away the aging' (laser cosmetic enhancement)

Wheel of Fortuen (US) - Wheel Goes to the Movies 5/27/05 Fictional Character

While You Were Out (US ) - [1] San Diego: Swell Space 2/23/05 Hey, I love these freaking legs. [ Laughs ] what do you think, gorgeous? >> Are you kidding me? >> You don't like it? >> What is this, like, the Darth Vader table or something? >> It's sushi-inspired, Japanese  [2] Las Vegas: Desert Oasis 5/7/05 And now they're all wired up? I'm gonna go over to the Wall and touch two wires together and open these puppies up. Garaging the windows. Nice. James: I love those. They're both going up at once. And they're closing together. Goldberg: it's like an X-Wing fighter. Franzella: yeah! When they're perfectly synchronized that's gotta feel good, huh?  

Who's Line Is It Anyway? (UK Comedy) - [1] Star Wars skit on the 100th episode. During the skit each of the four actors had to portray a different character. Greg played Darth Vader, Wayne played Lando, Ryan played Luke, and Collin played three roles as Chewie, C-3PO, and Leia. Each character can only say a certain amount of words during their turn. Wayne could only say five line sentences while Ryan could only say four. [2] 'sound effects' game. Ryan and Collin as Jedi Knights checking their equipment before their attack on the Death Star. [3] The Question with a question segment: 'Scenes from Star Wars' (I couldn't get all of them but, here are a few) Are you my son? Are you my father? Can't you reach out with your feelings? Can you teach me about the Force? Is there a Wookiee involved? Are you Yoda? Aren't you Yoda?

Who's Line Is It Anyway? (US Com) - [1] Hosted by Drew Carey. Bit: 'Jedi Knights preparing for a mission'. Audience members were pulled out and had to make the sound effects for the abovementioned bit. [2] 'Scenes Form a Hat' during which a card was pulled that instructed the players to make up probable first drafts of famous movie lines. They re-did 'Gone With the Wind' and 'Godzilla' but the most memorable goof was when Chip Esten stepped in front of the camera and said in his deepest voice, "Luke, I'm your second Uncle twice removed!" [3] 'Movie Outtakes' In August 2001 The category was Star Wars. Colin Mochrie played Chewbacca...even with a Wookiee roar :D [4] Aug 16, 2003 Songs of Sci -Fi segment with a song called: Obi-Wan Kenobi in a long brown robe.  [5] 2000 Two people go into center and they have to act out a scene using only questions, being a famous character. If they don't manage a question they leave and another guy takes their place. Greg Proops came in, put his hands on his ears, squatted down and said in a Yoda-ish voice "Waiting you are..?" the other guy left and then Wayne Brady says, "oooooh! you wait for bus too, eh?!" acting like Jar Jar Binks, then it ended.  (a clearer version of this can be heard below - added 11/4/04):

  [6] Wayne also had to be Jar Jar Binks while pretending to a bachelor on a dating game. however, He did not know Jar Jar precise dialogue. He did not use the word "mesa" or "yousa" at all. (Thanks to LORDeron_MAULer for #5 & #6) 

Who Wants to be a Millionaire (UK GS) - [1] Q: What was the name of Han Solo's ship in Star Wars? [2] Q: Which one of these characters from the Star Wars films is a Wookiee? A. C3PO B. Jabba C. Chewbacca D. R2D2 (The contestant chose wisely) [3] Q: The Latest Installment of the Star Wars Saga is called? A. Clones B. Droids C. Drones D. Druids (another correct answer chosen) [4] 4/11/05 Going for 200. >> That would be a, "star wars." Meredith: yes, it would be. You got it for $200. Going for 300, Janet. >> I actually have one of these at home. It's B, cowboy hat.

Who Wants to be a Millionaire (US GS) - [1] Q: Who was the voice of Darth Vader in the Star wars trilogy? [2] Q: What movie in 1977 beat Star wars at the Academy Awards (Annie Hall) [3] 10/13/03 Q: What Star Wars character claims he is fluent in over 6 million forms of communication? (C3P0 was the contestants answer, for $4000)  [4] 1/12/05 (top movie villain of all time) Well, Hannibal Lecter is still there //He was scarier than Darth Vader to me.  Hannibal Leter, d, final answer (correct)

[5] 4/27/05 MEREDITH:  ..and joining us now is Steve Gushue from Boulder City, Nevada.  Right outside of Las Vegas, you said.  STEVE: That's correct.  MEREDITH: Boulder City.  And you're an archeologist.  STEVE: Yes, also...  MEREDITH: I don't think I've ever met a young - you're like sort of Indiana Jones.   STEVE: I am very much like Indiana Jones.  MEREDITH: Are you? do.. [laughter]  STEVE: I don't have a leather jacket or the whip yet, but someday maybe I will. [laughter] MEREDITH: No whip?   STEVE: But I am terrified of snakes.  [6] 12/24/04 What famous movie hero is a mild mannered professor of archaeology by day?  A. Frodo Baggins  B. James Bond  C. Austin Powers  D. Indiana Jones (contestant chose wisely) 

Win Ben Stein's Money (US 1997-2002 GS) - [1] a tie breaker question: Who wrote and directed the 1977 blockbuster Star Wars? [2] Q: In Star wars, what species is Chewbacca? [3] Q: Who voices the evil Darth Vader?

Wipeout (US 1995 GS) - In a final round. Contestant had to pick 6 Star Wars planets out of 12 options in 1 minute. The correct answers were: Naboo, Endor, Tatooine, Alderaan, Hoth and Coruscant.

World's Best (US 2003 Travel) -  [1] Bizarre Creatures, they featured the top ten locations throughout the world where unusual creatures exist. [2] The Rain Frog which the show describes as looking "like Jabba the Hutt". [3] a small tree dwelling primate which was referred to as "an Ewok-like creature."  [4] Lost Treasures NARRATOR: They're rich. Now, this is about $4,000.  And they're famous.  You can feel like Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom.  NARRATOR: But they're also dangerous.  There was a lot of rivalry.  Were killed over it.   ...Irish: you can feel like Indiana Jones in the Temple of doom, or, you know, Jacques cousteau, 'cause you are actually going out there and finding treasures.  NARRATOR: the money Pit is a booby trap Worthy of Indiana Jones. Designed to be foolproof, the mechanism itself is an engineering masterpiece. Five giant tunnels extend from the Pit to the sea. When the wrong platform is removed, the air lock is broken and the Tide rushes in, flooding the shaft up to sea level.

WWF (US 1999) - [1] Emperor Palpatine VS Q [2] Goldust from WWE (WWF) impersonated Darth Vader saying he was Booker T's father

 

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COMMERCIALS/NEWS/TV Specials & Other stuff

Commercials

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Cristal Beer (Chile - OMD advertising) - 2004 OMD won the Grand Prix at the 2004 Cannes Media awards as well as Gold Lions for both Best TV campaign and best campaign targeted to Young Adults. "the Force is with Cristal Beer".   The company seamlessly incorporated the commercials at perfectly timed commercial breaks, so that one would think the film was continuing...but realized that they were seeing the commercial instead.  Quiet well done...an example:
  

Car dealership somewhere in the OH/KY area-  2003 TV ad running for a while that ripped off the lightsaber effect and claimed to have the "Force" with them. Cheesy bad rip-off, Yes. Bad lightsaber effects, No. (thanks to Imperial Recruiter for this reference!)

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IHOP (2006) - At the end of the new IHOP French Toast Special commercial the woman tells the waiter, "I love you."  And he replies in Han Solo style by saying, "I know."  (Thanks to Bonnie Burton for this reference!)

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Kellogg's Rice Krispies (UK 2006) - A young boy, wearing his coat like Obi-Wan's cloak, wields a stick and says, "It's a lightsabre."

Liquid Plum'r (2003) - The PBI (Plumbing Bureau of Investigation) bursts in, ala COPS, to film a plumber using Liquid Plum'r on a clogged drain. At the right hand corner of the 'film' is the code: "PBI Files- X1138HT"

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Orkin (2006) - Orkin company has an ad in which the Orkin Man reassures two lightsaber-sparring kids in a treehouse that he’s gonna get those termites.  (Thanks to Bonnie Burton for the alert!)

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Power Plus (2003) -  Anders Lund Madsen (some may know him from "John Cleese and Anders Lund Madsen" (an interview with the Monty Python group) plays Guru Madsen for Power Plus (a Danish power company), fighting the sulphur demon in a dual of lightsabers. Madsen with a blue saber and the 'demon' with a red saber.

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SportsCenter (US 2004) - 11/04 A series of seven TV spots (ads) one of which includes Darth Vader, a Stormtrooper, Chewbacca, R2D2 and C3PO in their 'Space Anchors' spot.

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Target (US 2004) - November 2004 In anticipation of Target's national sales event, a 2 day after Thanksgiving sale.   Target offered people a chance to get a wake up call from a list of sources.  One of which was Darth Vader (though it's a Stormtrooper and not Vader that is on the recording). (Thanks to everyone who sent in alerts for the Target commercial and campaign!!)

Telefutura (2005) - I recently saw a commercial for the local Telefutura (Spanish- language) network channel. It featured the Telefutura logo (a blue and white triangle with a smaller triangle inside) "acting out" some movies.. first bit was a spoof of Jaws with the logo as the fin (to the Jaws theme), second was a spoof of Star Wars with the logo as a star destroyer flying up and forward with smaller logos flying around as fighters (to the Star Wars theme), third bit was a line of about 8-10 of the logos with canes and top-hats, then it went to a generic lead-out with graphics and voice-over for the local affiliate. (Thanks to John at Obroa-Skai for this reference!)

Trivial Pursuit (US 2005) - Pop Culture Edition One of the pop culture scenes with the pieces standing around is during the Anakin vs. Obi-Wan battle from episode III, Revenge of the Sith.  (Thanks to John at Obroa-Skai for this reference!)

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Wal*Mart (US 2006) - Electronics commercial.  Shows Revenge of the Sith on  one of the TV screens in the background, very briefly.

Wüstenrot Germany 2003 - in the background children are seen in Jedi outfits (made of bath robes) and plastic lightsabers.

 

NEWS

unknown: [1] Doing a story on Roswell. At the end of the story one of the anchors says, 'May the Force Be With You'  [2] U.S. Election Debacle story...shows a group of people camped out to have their say. Someone was dressed as Darth Vader with a sign that read, 'Keep counting until the Darkside wins'

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ABC World News Tonight - Stormtroopers seen marching in St. Patrick's Day parade/festivities in Ireland. May 2001 

ABC World News Now - the bottom of the screen was flashing something about fake politicians. Among them were Barbie, the mayor on The Simpsons and Emperor Palpatine and Admiral Ackbar

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CBS - 1977 Dan Rather:  "Star Wars". It combines brand new technical gimmicks with age-old adolescent fantasies. "Flash Gordon" meets "The Wizard of Oz." It has become an instant classic, with the cult status of "Star Trek" or "2001." It is this year's space fantasy

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Frontline - 4/12/05 The McCain campaign, came out of the blue at Karl. McCain's outspokenness, his toughness. Toughness. He didn't like the religious right. He was playing cards that within the Republican constituency would have been fatal to play. Would have been fatal to play. >> The pro-life group in Washington has turned a cause into a business and are opposed to my trying to clean up campaign Finance reform. >> Narrator: but rove tried to lighten the mood. >> Everyone make a Snowball, and at the count of three, throw it. >> People think of him as the Darth Vader. Not true at all. He's always smiling.

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KMIR - A political analyst said, "...the President [Bush] going to Mars is something I like to call Mars Wars. Like Star Wars..."

KRON4 (San Francisco, CA) - 3/6/05 News Weekend newscasters talking: I was wondering, do you notice there are increasing amount of traffic cams around?  // Everywhere // We got those planes, we got those robot drones that are spying on rebel enemies.  It sounds so Star Wars, but it makes us the evil Empire. //What does that make Darth Vader? // Darth Cheney // I  find that disturbing // time to go.

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Nightline (US) - 3/24/05 I'm Chris Bury and this the "nightline." Tonight, the man who led the charge in the Terri schiavo case. >> The barbaric procedure that they want to impose upon her must be stopped. >> He's the most fear and some say powerful man in Congress. >> He wants you to see him as Darth Vader. >> If you get in his way, he's going to flatten you.

 

TV Specials, & Other Stuff

AFI's 100 Years, 100 Thrills: America's Most Heart-Pounding Movies (2001)

AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies (1998) - Star Wars is #15 on the list.

From Star Wars to Star Wars: The Story of Industrial Light & Magic (1999)

Harrison Ford, the Reluctant Hero (1998)

Making of The Empire Strikes Back

Making of Return of the Jedi

Making of Star Wars

Peter Cushing: A One-Way Ticket to Hollywood (1989)

Star Wars: A New Hope (premier on CBS TV) - It was either 1984 or 1986 when they showed ANH on regular TV, on CBS. Mark Hamill was hosting. "I remember when I first saw Star Wars...". (thanks to Grand_Duchess_Olga for the info)

That's Hollywood! (US 1977) - hosted by Tom Bosley. (rebel ships explode.) (The segment uses a quick montage of scenes.) (Imperial Cruiser pursues Rebel Blockade Runner)

Bosley: '... but the movie's ultimate fantasy about the future is Star Wars. In the words of writer-directory George Lucas, "It's a modern fairy-tale about exotic lands and strange creatures, but most of all it's fun."' (a montage of scenes starting with the TIE fighter battle.) |||| Leia: Here they come! C-3PO:Help, I think I'm melting. This is all your fault! (Death Star battle.) |||| Biggs: I'm going in, cover me Porkins. Porkins: I'm right with you Red Three. Vader: Stay in attack formation. (Trench run.) |||| Gold Leader: Switch to targeting computer. Vader: I'll take them myself. (Rebel ships explode.) |||| Wedge: Fighters, coming in point three! C-3PO: Hang on Artoo. Vader: I have you now! (Vader's wingman's TIE fighter explodes.) |||| TIE Pilot: Look out! (Falcon roars in.) |||| Han: You're all clear kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home! (Torpedoes release. Death Star explodes.) |||| Kenobi: Remember, the force will be with you, always. Bosley: 'It has been said that the true miracles of our age are not the result of our actions, but the result of our inspirations and imaginations. In the twentieth century, Hollywood has given us an unprecedented look into the future. So much so that people in the twenty-first century will look back at the movies of today and marvel at their insights and say, "That's Hollywood!" '

TV Guide's Greatest Movie Moments of all time - #44 the Cantina Scene in Star Wars and the revelation that Luke was Vader's son

TV Guide - 8 covers of characters. See MAGAZINES for the pics

 

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